The nightmares keep on, reminding me of who I used to be. This clown wearing the mask of god. Serotonin’s got my back in dark times and the overdose was this trip of unhealthy death.
I walked down the streets of the city and tried to open doors into deeper states to find them all locked. Good people, to keep me away from sudden confrontation. Golden knobs turning silver upon my realization.
Some asshole wanting to be a writer. Some jerk thinking he’s seen all he needs. “I never wanted to hurt you.” both heard and said.
Self deprecating fuck. With reinforcements of a healthy life ahead I found a temporary state. Even if it’s in the most empty room, alone I feel somewhat better. The meaning of things elude me. Trying to find a way to die alone. Still?
Holding on while letting go. Can’t shake my head around who or what I am and have, will, become. Dr. Jeckle met Mr. Hyde down a back ally where they had the most wonderful time. Found myself in the hospital again. When will this nightmare end? The mask feigns a tear.
And still I tremble.
feverdreamwolf ♡ 
The self-loathing and the god complex fight for the flesh.
Sometimes they leave me alone and I remain a numb body who is seemingly safe with themselves.
A lot of the time I find comfort in isolation as I fear to hurt others and to avoid the discomforting elements held by this fucker of a world.
But sometimes I fear that this comforting isolation that I dwell in will kill me someday.
ALL iN ALL, I THiNK i AM iN NEED OF A BREAK.
and some sour candy too.
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